In my previous meta I wrote about the misconception that Jon has a thing for redheads. I briefly mentioned that Jon has indeed a type which hasn’t anything to do with hair. I didn’t further explained because I meant to write another meta about Jon’s preferences. So here we are!
When a boy is young his mother represents the whole female gender to him. It’s through her that he learns about womanhood and she is the one who shapes his first views on women. This wasn’t the case for Jon Snow because as we all know that his mother, Lyanna, died while giving birth to him. In his childhood he interacted with only a few women (the only women he recalls from his days at Winterfell are his two sisters, his step-mother and the old Nan) and only one who was actually close to him, his little sister Arya.
Usually, on close sibling relationships of different sex it’s the younger ones that are affected by the older ones on the subject on how they view the different sex (ex: Bran likes girls that resemble his older sister, Arya). However, in Jon’s case he’s definitely influenced by Arya. This is hardly a surprise because as I noted before, she’s the only female close to him so it makes sense to be his ideal of womanhood.
The evidence of this lay on the fact that he compares Ygritte,his first love, to Arya. First, in terms of physical appearance:
[..] She looked plump as she crouched there, but most of that was layers of fur and wool and leather. Underneath all that she could be as skinny as Arya.
And later on in terms of personality’s traits:
“If you kill a man, and never mean t’, he’s just as dead,” Ygritte said stubbornly. Jon had never met anyone so stubborn, except maybe for his little sister Arya.
Even aside from the direct comparisons within the text, one can also draw a lot of parallels between the two girls’ characters.
Ygritte and Arya are not gender confirming girls. Both show interest in fighting, are feisty, stubborn and loud. They aren’t the typical Westeros girls (well, in Ygritte’s case she’s not a Westerosi). However, they do possess traits that can be found on other Northern and Wilding girls,too.
In a way, it makes poetic sense for Jon’s female ideal to be his sister because Arya resembles Lyanna a lot. Ned Stark, the person who knew both of them very well, demonstrates that:
“You remind me of [Lyanna] sometimes. You even look like her.”
“Lyanna was beautiful,” Arya said, startled. Everybody said so.”-
It’s like Jon’s ideal woman isn’t only his little sister but also his mother, despite the fact that he never got to know her.
The next woman Jon Snow shows an interest at, is Val. Another Wilding, another fighter, another fierce and brave woman.
Lonely and lovely and lethal, Jon Snow reflected, and I might have had her
They are all convinced she is a princess. Val looked the part and rode as if she had been born on horseback. A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her
Val’s characteristics could easily apply to Ygritte and Arya, so it strengthens the case that Jon indeed has a certain type.
Since I wrote about what Jon likes in women I think it’s time to address what he doesn’t like. Earlier on, I wrote that Arya is the only female that was close to him to Winterfell. That’s true but there is another woman who has also influenced Jon’s perspective on women. That is his step mother, lady Catelyn Stark.
Lady Stark and Jon Snow didn’t have a good relationship. Some fans say she was merely cold to him, others that she was emotional abusive. No matter where you stand on this matter, it was unavoidable that she would have a major effect on him as she was the most prominent female figure on Winterfell and also the one he had a dysfunctional relationship with.
The way she has influenced him is that he came to dislike everything she stood for. Or to be more correct, everything he thought that she stood for. That’s why Jon doesn’t like the women who adhere the traditional femininity. Sometimes his words towards those women can be even harsh and uncalled for. Here are two examples of what I’m describing:
[…] A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her
And yes, I will take your women too. I have no need of blushing maidens looking to be protected, but I will take as many spearwives as will come.
This meta would be incomplete if I didn’t include Daenerys, his current love interest on the tv series. While Daenerys has more traditional feminine traits than Ygritte or Arya, she still can be described as a free spirited, proud and more importantly brave woman. She’s even a warrior in her own way. She doesn’t wield a sword, but she participates in battles through flying on Drogon.
[…] I know she is proud. How not? What else was left her but pride? I know she is strong. How not? The Dothraki despise weakness. If Daenerys had been weak, she would have perished with Viserys. I know she is fierce. Astapor, Yunkai, and Meereen are proof enough of that. She has crossed the grasslands and the red waste, survived assassins and conspiracies and fell sorceries, grieved for a brother and a husband and a son, trod the cities of the slavers to dust beneath her dainty sandaled feet. […]
She’s a woman who could impress Jon Snow and I think that’s intentional by the author. After all, those two have many hints that they will meet and probably end up together in the books (because in the tv series Jonerys is already canon).
